Sometimes quiet thoughts lead to some sparking revelations. One I’ve pondered on quite a bit this week was the whole “what’s REALLY going on with Em?”
We’ve had LOTS of conversations and heart to hearts. Down time where we just sit together curled up on the sofa watching movies/tv and just being calm. It’s in the calm it hits me.
Transitions for Em, like many kids on the spectrum or with anxiety (double whammy here), are beyond difficult. Most of the time, from start to finish (prep, anticipation, transition, regroup) for Em happens within a 6-8 week period of time.
We are facing an 18 MONTH transition here. From the end of LAST school year to the beginning of NEXT school year. Preparing for the last year of middle school, last year with her brother definitely in the house, beginning of high school, graduation and all the things associated with Christian’s final year of school.
That’s A LOT for her to process. We are in the final stretch before the play. The LAST play for Christian in high school. The last play they will be in together in school. The spring production isn’t a play, it’s a musical and neither are sure they’ll get parts. So for her it’s a realization point. One she’s not sure she likes.
The uncertainty of how her life is changing. Who will be her champion when Christian is gone? Who will be her protector? She doesn’t realize that really won’t change. What will change is that he won’t be immediately accessible and she’s TERRIFIED of that. Right now, no amount of reassurance is going to convince her of that.
Time will get her there, after all the transitions are done. So we have a long 12 months left in this process. And we need to figure out how to make this long term transition easier for her. All of us really.