Honesty. The Good. The Bad. The Ugly. The Truth. That’s what we share here. Sometimes writing posts are hard because we work to find balance in Em’s needs and her privacy in addition to what she wants to share. This post is ONLY being shared after we made sure from her perspective it’s safe and weighed out the pros and cons.
The pros for sharing this: she will see she’s not alone, others will see they aren’t alone, support can be built from those two facts alone, also there is some sort of accountability.
The cons for sharing: she’s opening herself up.
Emelie spiralled fairly quickly into a depression. Everyone missed all the red flags and just thought she was tired or fatigued including us and her teachers. I think it’s been building awhile but she put a good face on out of trying to be TOO strong for herself. When you try to be too strong for too long no matter the reasons, eventually you just can’t be anymore. We’ve never pushed for that. We’ve always told her to be upfront with her emotions and feelings.
I’m not going to get into the details from last night. Just know, she broke. She decided that she wanted to “cut” for whatever reasons and scared herself. She didn’t break the skin and called me right away.
After a long night and many phone calls to professionals and keeping her home from school, we are on the path to get her what she needs. We’ll be tweaking her meds and getting her counseling.
She said today three things that made it clear that kids like her NEED to be included and not isolated. One she did it to get everyone to see her and realize she is human too. Two she did it to get help. She at least realized that she’s in a spot where she needs help. And the third actually came from a cutter she met tonight. Thank God for this young lady bravely sharing her story with Em: and Em couldn’t find the words this lady did: as a release of pressure that built up she couldn’t find an outlet for.
Yesterday was a game changer. New life experiences. New rules. And she never wants to be in that spot again. That’s half the battle. Acknowledging that you don’t want to be there and finding out why and how you got there and need to get out.
We’ve figured out some of it. Most of it in fact. Now, to figure out how to never get in that spot again. I know we didn’t get there overnight and it won’t be better overnight. Time. That’s what we are looking at.
The ending to this is yet to be written. Is Em OK is what I keep getting asked. On the surface, I think so. Deep down, we’ve got a lot of work to do, but she’ll get there in time.