I’m writing about a commitment I’ve made my daughter, for someday. For now and to tell her all this when she has come to terms with who she is and where she is going, no matter what it is. I think all of us parents on the spectrum want that. We make commitments to our children and hope and pray they get to a point where they understand.
We want that someday when they are ready to take on the world in their way. We want that day to come when we are there to watch them succeed. We want to see them set their eyes on a goal and reach high to become whatever it is that they set forth to become. You see, we love them. They don’t always know it. They sometimes cannot even comprehend it but it’s the fuel for our commitments. Right now, as they struggle to come to terms with who they are and overcoming all the obstacles in their life, they are learning a valuable lesson of life.
Life, as much as we want it to be, is not fair. They have been challenged to rise up and above their inner selves to be more than the world dare to dream they can be. They aren’t alone in this challenge though. There are individuals that have come before them that did miraculous and wonderful things despite society around them. There are individuals after them that will look at our children and see them as role models.
They have risen to these challenges in front of them every day. For some it’s learning how to address sensory overloads. Others it might be learning how to communicate with others, verbally or otherwise. Still more it might just be learning when to take a “time out” and their limits, and pushing those limits to expand them. I think that many have looked at their fears head on and have gotten to the point where then have told them they WILL NOT run their life. Some are still getting there or have a combination of things.
Regardless, they have to make a conscious effort to say to autism, it is my life. Once they realize that they have the power to let it control them or to control it, life changes. For some it will become a new challenge; the one where they challenge themselves to be more than the sum of their diagnosis. Each person has their own set of challenges and that is their journey to overcome.
Someday, the dreams of today will be tomorrow’s realities. Some may change their dreams, but never change who they are. Not for anyone. Our challenge as parents is the commitment we make to our children that as long as they are happy, we the family will need to put aside what we want and see for their future and love them as they are. That and to let them know that we will ALWAYS be proud of them, love them no matter what. That and to ask is that they stay true to themselves.
So I will leave you with this, someday they will hopefully realize that they were loved. That they will remember that someone cheered them on their whole life. We need to be parents that tell them that we watched them grow and we will watch them fly. They will soar and do whatever they set their mind to, as long as they remind themselves of how far they’ve already come.