Deep Thoughts on Autism

I keep trying to blog tonight but I’m trying to find the right words. They just aren’t coming out right. I want to address the terms High Functioning and “Low” Functioning in regards to Autism. I don’t like them and find them offensive. Like saying my child is better than your child because they can xyz.

At the same time, Autism is a spectrum disorder that is like a rainbow. Some versions of it are darker and harsher than others. Each experiece is as unique as the color.

Em tends to fall often on the brighter more social side of the spectrum but there are days that it is dark and vastly internal or individualized interactions. She doesn’t or won’t talk and ignores the world around her.

I know it’s not as dark for her as it is for some families. And it’s not always in one color realm either. Illness, stress, anxiety, and excitement can move these kids from one area to another.

Yet, even as we given them coping skills and help them to navigate the colorful waters of life for them, there is no cure. They will always have Autism in the background. And that’s not all bad.

The look at the world differently than we do and it’s amazing. They live life on their terms. They love in their way, even if they don’t show it. The hear the world around them, even if they don’t acknowledge it. They feel deeply, even if they can’t express it. Life is a big world full of things we can’t see, hear or feel.

And while I don’t always LOVE Autism. I love Emelie. Autism is part of her. And I have learned to embrace Autism as fighting it only makes her feel less. And that is something she is not. LESS.

She is full of creativity. She is full of ideas. She is full of love. She is full of emotions. She is vibrant. She is very much more than some of us choose to be. Autism.


2 thoughts on “Deep Thoughts on Autism

  1. I once tried to visually explain autism to a person and I drew a rainbow with wide colors. Then I put black dots here and there on the different colors across the rainbow, about twelve dots. Then I connected them. To me, this explains Charlie. Although he can talk, he has a lot of anger issues, he can potty, but can’t wipe well. He is compliant when he is with me, but won’t separate. I call it mid-functioning.

    To me, it’s not just a rainbow or a score on an autism scale, each child would have their very own wave on that rainbow, as you connect the dots. That’s why I call the book that I wrote about Charlie, “Charlie 101”, because it’s not all about autism, it’s only about Charlie’s autism, which is way different than any other kid’s autism.

    Someone once compared it to cancer. How horrible. But you have liver cancer and lung cancer and bladder cancer … but the comparison is not the same. I can’t explain it, but it’s not. If you have lung cancer, then they treat it one way. If it’s leukemia, they treat it another way, but with autism, half the time you don’t even know WHAT it is, because the kid can’t tell you and the tests don’t really work very well.

    Are we screwed?

    • I understand and hear what you are saying. Do I think we are screwed? No. I think we have to keep pushing forward. Keep explaining to people our kids.

      Does it make it any easier? Oh heck no! Sometimes I think we get more frustrated dealing with those outside our lives than the situations we are in itself.

      Charlie has an awesome mom. You take time to make sure he’s not “lost” in the shuffle. That’s what these kids need.



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