It’s Christmas. Life is chaotic. Life is already hectic. Weather is unpredictable and so is life. We try so hard to prepare for anything and everything. Yet it all can seem to go wrong in a moment. How we react and turn it around is what makes us all who we are.
In our house, every penny is budgeted before it’s even in the door. Since I’m just starting back to work we are playing catch up with some bills. I did however plan a modest budget to get our children 1 joint gift and 1 gift each to put under our tree for them to open on Christmas day. I had to wait however, until the Friday before Christmas to use some of that paycheck to get them.
I was so tired that Friday, I just wanted to go home. I picked up Matt from work and we came home. I had no desire to pick up those gifts. Saturday morning I worked. After work my intention was to run and get the gifts and come home. It was my first Saturday and I was slightly overwhelmed and decided, I’ll go with my partner aka husband to go shopping. He loves it. I hate it. So I drove home. Our van was horrible driving home. I parked it in the driveway and came inside.
Lo and behold, I had a shredded tire. Joy of joys. Can’t fix it Saturday or Sunday. Matt had to miss a day of work so we could get it fixed. And fixed wasn’t possible. Sigh. So what was a repair became a replace. What was budgeted is no longer. 2 new tires and that took all the Christmas money and then some. We were left with just enough for gas for the week to drive to and from work.
So we had an epic snowstorm (both figuratively and literally) blow into our lives this weekend. I know I am fortunate in that my kids may or may not be disappointed but they get it. They understand the meaning and spirit of Christmas. They aren’t waiting for Santa Claus as they are old enough to know. They know grandparents and relatives have things for them they will get next time they see them. Yet the mom in me hurts to know that I couldn’t give them one gift.
I had an emotional meltdown and then decided to regroup and pull it together. To grab a shovel and figure out what I can do instead of what I can’t. I may not have crafty things laying around. I may be on a time crunch. But there are things I can do. I can put some memories under the tree that they can take with them for the rest of their lives.
Does it make it hurt any less? Yes and no. It truly is a disappointment to myself. I’m sure that it’s not what they want either. Yet, life is what we make it. Everyone keeps telling me how wonderful my kids are and that they get it and they’ll be ok. Get it and understand it is a little different than being “ok” with it. I know they will put on a good face. However, they still are kids. So we’ll show them why this Christmas, is the best we’ll ever have.
So if life is dumping on you. You feel it slipping and sliding out of control. Grab a shovel. You can always shove back.